Wants

Why is it we always want what we can't have, whether it be a better vehicle, bigger house, different woman? It seems so hard to be happy with what we have, or is it just me? Recently the problem I've been having is with a coworker. We have been working together for five plus years and the longer we work together the closer I've gotten to her. We have become good friends.


I guess a little background would be good first, she is about ten years younger than I but we have so much in common its scary. She is very attractive and very down to earth. She has been in a relationship for most of the time I have known her but that has just ended in a bad way for her. She has a low opinion of herself and ends up dating these men that don't deserve her. I have been married for some time now and have been having some issues of my own within the marriage that we are trying to work through. I'm starting to wonder if we really did marry to young. I have never cheated on my wife but with everything that has been going on I'm starting to wonder what the grass on the other side may be like.

Recently with her separation from her boyfriend I've been very jealous of what she is able to do on her own and can't stop thinking about her with other guys, never mind the looser she just broke up with. Its hard to look at her an not lust after her, especially when she is showing off that incredible ass with her thong and back tattoo showing, it is such a turn on for me. I feel she does it on purpose to me. That being said, its like there are so many mixed signals coming from her. She will say stuff like "your wife got lucky to have you" or "that's why most affairs happen in the work place". On the other hand she will call me old or tell me about other people cheating and how its wrong, even though this last boyfriend of hers was the only one she had not cheated on. When we go out to have a drink or dinner she is happy to be out with me but at the same time is very guarded with how she acts and what she says. There are times at work that she will look into my eyes so intently, it almost seems as she wants me the same way I want her. She will ask me to go somewhere with her, like to pick up lunch, but will then stay on the other extreme side of the passenger seat.
I'm so confused with the way she will treat me at work, sometimes she is very short with answers or will not even look at me. Other times she will wait to have me alone so she can tell me about stuff going on in her life. There are just so many mixed signals to consider, especially after knowing her for so many years.
I really don't think I would say no if she were to come on to me directly, I've become so enamored with her.
Guess I had to get that off my chest.