We all know it's the Christmas season, I mean, how could you miss it, the big advertisement rush starts after fucking Halloween now. I guess I'm just not feeling in the spirit either. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing the excitement in my little one, the whole prospect of Santa coming has her asking every night when. My mood has been like this for quite a few years now, at some point during my marriage Christmas lost its luster. Not having enough money for this or that put a damper on our ability to give, and yet I always saw her spending on other things. I always liked the idea of giving and seeing the joy on that persons face at a surprise or something you knew they wanted. My wife is still so into the decorating and making the house Christmasized. She starts right after Thanksgiving with the decorating, got to have the tree up as soon as she can. I often wonder now if its more the trappings of season she enjoys, though she is a good Irish Catholic girl, very good about going to mass, how the fuck she wound up with me, we'll never know. She has rubbed off on M too, she can pick out baby Jesus from the nativity and knows its his birthday. I do things with both my wife and daughter though, I'll not be a Grinch that ruins things for them, I grin and bear it.The other night after I got in from work, we took a trip about a half-hour north to see a mansion that goes all out with the Christmas lights. We got close and sat in the line of traffic waiting to get in for what wound up to be an hour and a half. After about 45 minutes sitting there, my wife asked if we should turn around, I was thinking fuck no, not after waiting this long. My poor little one was patient sitting in the back of the car as we inched forward, finally the dreaded words came out, "I need to pee". Shit. Were on a snaking back-road with lines of cars in front and behind. My wife grabbed her, opened the back door on the passenger side, and took M in front of it so she could pee. Thankfully, it was quick and the car behind was nice enough to turn their lights off. After finally getting there, I have to say, it was a let down, certainly not worth the time it took to get in and drive through it. M liked it at least and she passed out within 10 minutes of leaving there and slept the rest of the ride home.
I don't know exactly when I lost the spirit, but my faith was shaken years ago and I don't really identify with the commercial aspect of the season either, I guess that leaves me in a shaky middle ground. My glasses are no longer rose colored.
I'll do whatever I can to make my little one happy though, I keep my wife happy too by doing the things she likes and keeping my mouth shut. I can't even count how many Christmas movies, shows, and events I've seen or been to this season, but I will continue to keep the peace for those that still believe and have the spirit. When I wish you a Merry Christmas, I mean it, my lack of faith has nothing to do with you enjoying yours and I'll continue to experience the joy through the eyes of my little one. I truly hope everyone out there has a safe and happy Christmas.
W
I am over it and can't wait until it is over! I can't get a damn thing done at work because nobody else is working. I only get paid for the time I work so I don't have the luxury of taking off. FUCK!
ReplyDeleteI am in such a shitty mood can you tell?
Let me just chime in and say that I wish we could skip from late October through January 2nd. I put on a good face when my kids were little, but I recall thinking to myself when the kids were in their teens, how ridiculous it was that my wife would sit there and negotiate with them regarding what they would get for presents each year. Frankly, I would just a soon have the President come out and make a declaration that the entire economy depends upon everybody buying a bunch of crap during this three month period, and however we get it done, just do it. At least then I wouldn't feel the worry of an unexpected neighbor showing up with a cheap gift that now must be reciprocated.
ReplyDeleteAnd like Naughty Kitty mentioned, who can get anything done at work when everyone else is gone for a month? I'll be glad when it is all over.
I don't blame you at all for being in a bad mood Naughty Kitty, it seems everything slows down around the holidays, its not good when you on a commission either, believe me.
ReplyDeleteJF, I agree with you on how sad it is that our economy is so dependent on the commercialization of Christmas. I'm sure it will continue to be so well past our life times though.
Me of all people struggled this year, with all that has happened in the last year. But
ReplyDeleteYes the big butt
I wanted it so badly to be "that" kind of Christmas. I needed it to be
magical. Peaceful. Loving.
To make up for all the bad shit.
Was it all that? Partly yes.
I had a awesome time with my family. I made it work
For
All
Of
us.
Peace to you baby.
your deserve only the best in life.