Buried

Its early in the second month of twenty fifteen and I'm sitting in a new apartment surround by snow. We here in the Boston area are now enduring our fourth major snowfall in the last 17 days. This one is not a blizzard by definition, but its adding to the four feet already on the ground. As the news plays in the background, I hear the problems mounting, roofs collapsing, the T breaking down due to frozen power lines and now shutting down for the day tomorrow, un-passable streets and sidewalks with nowhere to put the piles. I've made it into work only to be told we need to close for the second time in as many weeks. I'm getting tired of wasting my time on treacherous commutes, only to have to turn around and do it again, and with the roads being even worse.

That's RT 95 by the way

So here I sit, typing away in place I haven't been in a while. I have attempted to date some, only to be disappointed. I can say that I am very picky at this point. I did sign up for one of those free online sites, all I seem to do is just look though. I get emails, but don't answer any. I'm still comfortable in my silence and seclusion, most of the time at least. I still have my core group of friends that helps keep me sane, and of course, my time with my daughter is treasured the most.

I wonder if my time away from here has been to not remind me of what I'm missing out on, sexually at least. Single life is not at all like you'd see in the movies, at least in my case. Its a very quiet existence for me. That is not to say I wouldn't like to find the right person to share it with, in time it seems.

Pieces

How does one pick up the pieces of a broken life? Its been a reoccurring question in my thoughts for quite some time now. I have been surviving fine on my own and I know I haven't been around here. I've been writing for myself in fits and starts, in a journal when time permits, hence my absence.

Since my last post over a year ago, I have gone through a separation and subsequent divorce, house sale, bill and asset division and liquidation, finding my own place, part time single parenting, and generally learning how to do things on my own, all while dealing with a venomous ex. It has been a steep curve, yet I soldier on. Thankfully my family and friends have all been supportive. The emails and conversations with my Cali confidant have been the most helpful and insightful over the past years, keeping me grounded and calm, those are between her and I, and always will be.

Honestly, I'm finding myself happier alone many times, hiding in my apartment, doing things for myself, only getting out for work, or quality time with my little one, and more recently, some side photography work.

And yet, I've don't ever remember feeling so completely solitary and alone...

I know it hit me some more recently while in Boston a few weekends ago to do a photo shoot. I made it in town to meet with the model and makeup artist, but then had to wait until the makeup work was done. So as I stood there on Atlantic Ave at Rowes Wharf, with a backpack full of photo gear, a dead cell phone and an unknown wait time, I just stood and watched the masses move by. It ended up being about an hour wait as the prime afternoon glow started falling below the buildings, and still I watched. It was different to slow myself down when not parked on the couch. So there I was a captive audience to the lives that strolled by, tourist festooned with bags and cameras, natives casually strolling the summer dusk, others in their Sunday best heading for the party cruises. What struck me the most was how the majority of people travel in packs, whether it be the many couples, family's, or groups of friends, the lone were the vast minority. My people now.

On the other side of that coin though, I do miss touch and intimacy, but I don't know if I'm ready to date. I feel I'm going to be far to picky having been through an emotional ringer for the last ten to fifteen years. I'm as much at fault as the ex is though, I allowed the mental abuse and put up with it thinking that was how things were supposed to work. I know better now, I've learned a few things about how I want to be treated, about how to I would like to live.  

I don't know what it is, but my emotive state has been out of sorts recently. Something like a powerful image or music lyrics really get to me. This past weekend sitting around alone especially. Maybe that's a part of what prompted this writing. Just more pieces.

Every moment, 

I shape my destiny with a chisel, 

I am the carpenter of my own soul.

~Rumi

Rowes Wharf and Custom House Tower at Dusk, Boston,  Copyright Brian Burt

"Strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound, Raindrops taste like tears without the pain."

I can't believe its been so long since my last post. I want to thank those of you who commented on my last entry, it is always heartening to read kind words and thoughts. I figured an update was in order as to where I stand currently.

Where do I start? Well, a little while back my wife and I started seeing a marriage counselor/therapist. It started when I broke again and told her I'm still not happy at home. I think I've come a long way towards seeing my own truth and realizing that I can't keep operating under the assumption that I can make those around me happy. I've seen that I've always put others before myself, and it has been to my detriment. I've seen the therapist on my own and had a nice talk with her, she feels my upbringing has created my ideas about pleasing others. We have gone together for the other sessions, there have been hurts on both sides, tears have been shed, truths have been told and brought to the front. The past two days have brought something new though. She asked about getting a separation yesterday morning. I want to say I was surprised, but I'm not. We agreed to go see the counselor tomorrow night and Friday night to talk about it, I don't think she feels that comfortable taking with me anymore when it comes to us. Then last night she said she won't sleep in the same bed with me, that would explain the getting up the night before and going to the spare bedroom. It's not like we touch each other at all, the bed is big enough and we are always on our own sides. I know this is all being put on me, because I'm the one unhappy. We talked about that Saturday night, how can two people living together be in such different places, one happy, one not?

I'm done caving in though, done being a yes man, done agreeing because I know it would make her happy, done ignoring myself, done denying my own wants and needs. I want a life full of passion, desire, love, lust, sharing, caring, shared moments, smiles, happiness, self fulfillment.

The therapist had me read a book by Wayne Dyer, called Your Erroneous Zones. I read it last week and thought, damn, I am so fucking text book. All these things that I've let rule me, guilt, anger, pleasing others, worry. They are all things that hold us back from action, they all cause fear in one way or another, fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of reprisal, fear of judgement. I'm tired of being afraid, I'll not settle for the status quo anymore.


Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

Pedro Arrupe, S.J.




Photo taken from Tumblr

I had a new first this past weekend, you may remember that I said a few weeks ago how my wife wanted to start this couch to 5K thing. Well, I've been doing some of it with her, not as much as she has, I did miss some days due to my work schedule. Plus, I'm a bicyclist, not a runner, but anyway. We ended up registering for a 5K run that took place this past Sunday.

We arrived at the local Y about an hour early so we could get signed in and get the little one to the kids center to play while we ran. This run was a fundraiser for the Livestrong foundation, so I of course had no problem at all supporting it. There were a few others we knew doing the run including three people my wife was "training" with regularly, and we also found her brother in law and his son were running as well. We meet them all there and were ready to take off for the 11 o'clock start. I might add, that there was an incredible sea of well built women in tight running shorts and tops.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure how well I was going to do, I mean I carry a decent pace because of my height I think, but I'm not that good at continuous running. I tend to stop occasionally to rest my bad knee a bit. I've been doing ok on the runs with my wife, but I haven't run without stopping at one point or another.

Anyway, we got off to a start on a nice sunny day Sunday, not to hot, in the 70's. My wife and I agreed to run at our own comfort levels, so I wanted to get my faster pace towards the beginning knowing I'd fade after. We started and I wasn't ready for the crowds and clusters of people involved. I've done a few bike races in my time, but the groups in those tend to stretch out at their own intervals and paces quite quickly. This was just masses of people that I had keep finding ways around. I wanted to keep the brother in law in sight, since I knew my nephew was a good runner. I lost him in the crowd though and just did my own thing.

It was at at the end of the first mile when I could finally keep my own steady pace and the crowd had thinned. I just kept pounding away, my legs feeling good, by breathing steady. At the end of the second mile I was feeling parched, I was so happy to see the water stand. I just kept going, my pace starting to slow. I picked someone who was going about my pace and stuck with them, it helps to keep your mind occupied on something else I think.

At about the two and quarter mile mark, my knee was really starting to bother me, so yes, I had to walk to stretch it some. I only walked about a minute, I told myself, just to that corner there, and I did. I rounded the corner and just kept going. I hadn't seen anyone else I knew at all, so I wasn't catching or being caught by anyone it seemed.

I got to the finish in a time of 26:40, not bad for a guy who's not a regular runner I think. Turns out, the brother in law was only 30 seconds in front of me. His son did it in a bit over 23 minutes, damn kids have all the energy. My wife finished in just under 30, which she was quite happy with. All in all, it was not too bad for my first 5K.

Hi all, remember me? I know its been a while since I've posted anything, it's just felt hectic and I've not had anything to write about. This past week has been a bit of a low for me, I think just an avalanche effect of sorts. We had a death on the wife's side this past week, work has been a pain in the fucking ass with the boss out for a few days and me putting in extra hours, traffic has been ridiculous damn near every morning and night, the kid was sick and my wife is now sick plus PMS'ing, and the weather is starting to change here already.

Enough of the complaining bullshit, yes there is more I could complain about, but I won't subject you to it. I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for the great friends I've made and continue to keep. One has been a godsend for quite a while now, thank you to my photographer friend, while others are always there for a word of kindness or a hello.

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” 
― Rumi



I'll attempt to leave you with a laugh then today....

New Grey Beginnings

A cold steel grey greets this morning on the bay.

As the sun tries to burn away last nights remnants and decay.

A new day dawns, forgetful of the last,


no reason to dwell on the sadness in the past.


                          W

Boats, Bikini's, and Flirts...a week in review

I was reflecting back on the last week and it struck me that it was quite out of the norm for me.


Last Friday I was working and the Xenon light kit I've had on order for four months finally came in. The guy I ordered them from asked me to throw him the key and he installed them that day for me. (The picture is with the new one on the right showing the difference between the new and old.) With both of them installed, I have to say, I love how much light they throw at night, and I still have two high beams when I need them. Well worth the investment. I thought this was probably as good as it gets for me.

Saturday, I had a fishing trip planned with a few friends. I can tell you there was very little fishing, about 15 minutes worth, if even that. What sucked about it was no one was ready. I left the house at 8:30 to meet two friends a half hour away, got there, one was late. From there we had to go to the guy with the boat, another half hour away. He doesn't have the boat, its in another town, we have to go get that. So we get the boat and then its about 45 minutes to the bay. Once there, there's a line of boats waiting to put in. Ends up, we don't hit the ocean till about 12:30. 

So we're out on the open water around 1:30, bait a few hooks, and start trolling. That lasted all of five minutes before the guy who owns the boat says, hey there's this thing going on over in Portuguese cove called aquapalouza, you guys want to check it out? Sure, fine by us. We motor over there and end up tying up to another boat with his friends. There has to be at least 150 boats out there, grouped together in all different numbers, and at least five state police and two coast guard boats keeping watch. So we broke out the drinks and just took it easy. I jumped off the bow once for a swim, damn was it cold. 


One guy tied up with us has a jet ski and was letting people try it out, not wise I think with a 215 horse motor in the thing. Another guy ends up coming back with two girls on the thing and says to the owner of it, hey T, these girls need a ride back to their boat, and then jumps off. T takes them out for a blast and comes back a while later saying how the girls boyfriends asked him if he fucked them, because that was ok with them. He told them no, I'm all set with that and came back to our boats. I never know what to believe when you hear stuff like this, true or BS?


About an hour later, T ends up coming back with a guy and girl, the guy is a friend of his, and the girl his girlfriend. They hop on board our boat and start chatting away. So five of us are just hanging, drinking, listing to the music as this girl starts just waging her ass at us in her little bikini. Now believe me, I'm not complaining, but I did find it odd that she's doing this while her boyfriend is right there. My friend and I were in total agreement that she was flaunting herself on purpose. At one point, she leans over in front of us to look in the lower cabin, then pushes her ass up in the air. Yes, I was looking, as were the other guys on the boat. The rest of the afternoon seemed tame from then on.


We headed back in around six, and had to put up with the same routine again, waiting to get the boat out, then all the stops on my return trip home. My wife was pissed, not so much that I was out the whole day, but the fact that I didn't check my phone till about five. It was under in the little cabin, where we put everything to keep dry. So when I got home at 9:30, she was already behind a closed door in the spare bedroom. I showered and crashed myself. Lets just say that there was some arguing Sunday, enough that my little one asked why mommy was yelling at daddy. I had all I could do not to laugh. 

What else, lets see. Ah yes, my wife started this "couch to 5k" and she wants me to do it with her. I've done it twice this week, but I'm a bicyclist at heart, not a runner. I'm still faster and in better shape it seems, I can thank my cyclist lungs for that.


I had a good photographer friend of mine in slight crisis earlier in the week, thankfully things have worked out there as well.


Then there was yesterday. I had the day off and was getting a bunch of odds and ends done when I decided to get my hair cut. I figured I'd try this place close to my house since it was open and the sign said they took walk-ins. This woman takes me right in as there's not another soul to be seen. I sit down and she sees my tat, she loves it she says. She tells me she has a few herself, but keeps them hidden. This woman can talk, and she talks like a man. At one point she was telling me about an older friend of hers who she told not to get involved with "crazy bitches", their not worth it. I heard all about her interest, her daughter, what she likes to do in her free time, and she got much the same from me. She seemed really cool, I'd tell you all more, but I don't want to bore you with all the banter. At this point I'm not sure if she is flirting or really wants the repeat business. Whatever, it was nice to hear a woman who sounded like many bloggers out here, she didn't censor herself at all. When she was done, she hoped I was happy with the cut and proceed to give me a card with her name and hand wrote all the hours she is there on the back for me. So how about some opinions on this? Was she flirting or just looking for the repeat business and a good tip?


Forgive my long windedness rambling, sometimes I just can't stop my fingers. See what happens when I don't post for a while.

Yea, I don't think its reading right, no way was it that fucking hot...

The Pains of Sleep

A new favorite of mine.


"Ere on my bed my limbs I lay,
It hath not been my use to pray
With moving lips or bended knees;
But silently, by slow degrees,
My spirit I to Love compose,
In humble trust mine eyelids close,
With reverential resignation,
No wish conceived, no thought expressed,
Only a sense of supplication;
A sense o'er all my soul impressed
That I am weak, yet not unblessed,
Since in me, round me, every where
Eternal strength and wisdom are.

But yester-night I prayed aloud
In anguish and in agony,
Up-starting from the fiendish crowd
Of shapes and thoughts that tortured me:
A lurid light, a trampling throng,
Sense of intolerable wrong,
And whom I scorned, those only strong!
Thirst of revenge, the powerless will
Still baffled, and yet burning still!
Desire with loathing strangely mixed
On wild or hateful objects fixed.
Fantastic passions! maddening brawl!
And shame and terror over all!
Deeds to be hid which were not hid,
Which all confused I could not know
Whether I suffered, or I did:
For all seemed guilt, remorse or woe,
My own or others still the same
Life-stifling fear, soul-stifling shame.

So two nights passed: the night's dismay
Saddened and stunned the coming day.
Sleep, the wide blessing, seemed to me
Distemper's worst calamity.
The third night, when my own loud scream
Had waked me from the fiendish dream,
O'ercome with sufferings strange and wild,
I wept as I had been a child;
And having thus by tears subdued
My anguish to a milder mood,
Such punishments, I said, were due
To natures deepliest stained with sin, - 
For aye entempesting anew
The unfathomable hell within
The horror of their deeds to view,
To know and loathe, yet wish and do!
Such griefs with such men well agree,
But wherefore, wherefore fall on me?
To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed."


                   Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Consumed in silence

The night was perfect, not to warm after a hot day. The air coming off the front of the motorcycle was just enough to cool, without making one cold. The headlights make their marks on the road ahead, a preview to what lay ahead, but not what he was looking forward to. What he wanted had her arms wrapped around him, holding on tight against the wind. He could feel her hands on his body as they rode along that dark ribbon in the night. Thankfully, his destination was not to much further away. Not knowing if it was her mind, or the vibrations from the bike getting to her, her hands kept traveling between his legs, grabbing through his jeans, "not much further and your mine" he muttered into his helmet.

Her teasing continued for what seemed like an agonizing eternity before he got to the secluded spot he was looking for. He shut the engine down and they removed their helmets, the absolute quiet took them both by surprise. He told her to stay in her seat as he got off and turned around to face her. He pulled her by the back of her neck, his lips meeting hers, his tongue searching, probing, as his fingers laced in her hair. They both pull at each others clothing, zippers drawn down and jackets pealed off. Her shirt is over her head in an instant as he kisses his way down her neck, down the middle of her chest. Her bra is discarded as quickly as the rest, his mouth finding a nipple and sucking, hard. His hand on the other, pinching and tugging at the nipple. She throws her head back, loving the pressure, above her, nothing but the bright moon and stars.

He tells her to get off the bike and helps her down, he needs more flesh to feast on. She's on her feet with her back to him, his mouth on her neck as he unbuttons her jeans and slides them down her legs. He tells her to bend over the bike, his hands instantly on her ass, a hand running up between her thighs to find just how wet she is, she doesn't disappoint. He slides his hand back and fourth over he swollen lips, her clit as hard as he is. He pushes his thumb into her, his palm and fingers continuing to rub her clit as he moves in and out. Her moans are the only thing breaking the silence of their surroundings. He gets down on his knees, his hand pulling at her ass cheek as he lightly licks at her ass. Her body bucks forward on the bike quickly, not expecting the added touch. It doesn't take long before she's pushing her ass back at him, driving his fingers and tongue deeper with every push. Her legs quiver with the approaching wave, he feels it building in her pussy, "yes baby, cum for me" he says. She cry's out with pleasure, forcing herself back at him as she cums. He wants her so badly, wants to just fuck her ass right now, but no, not yet.

He needs to feel that mouth on his cock. Needs to know if it feels as good as it looks, as good as he imagined. He moves around to the other side of the bike, she is still bent over it, her head low enough to take him. He unbuttons his jeans with one hand while the other takes her hair to one side of her head. She know's what he wants and she's wanted that cock in her mouth just as much. He takes his pants off, and moves right in front of her as she pops the tip into her waiting mouth, licking and sucking on just the head. His hand winds in her hair as he moves deeper into her, and she takes him effortlessly. She wants it all and knows he's not there yet, she reaches with her hands and grabs his ass, pulling him down her throat. She hears him gasp as he feels himself consumed. He pulls with more force now on her hair, fucking her mouth rapaciously. "Fuck, you feel so good baby" he whispers to the night air. "No, not like this" as he pulls himself free of her mouth. "I want your ass". She only answers with a smile and "mmmm" as he moves around behind her.

Her ass is still quite wet from the tongue lashing he gave it, but just for safe measure he slides into her soaked cunt first, covering himself with her juices. Reluctantly pulling out of her, he places himself at her ass and starts gently pushing, slowly, deliberately he sinks into her. He feels her holding her breath at first as he slides in, but she is quickly accommodating. He can't believe how good she feels and how much he's wanted this. He wants her to cum like this, buried in her ass, but she says "just fuck me".  In no time they have a good tempo going, his thrusting meet with her own. He grabs her hips with both hands, pounding into her, driving into her as deeply as he can. Her moaning raising his own desires, and he pushes one last time as he cums in her, holding himself sheathed in her, savoring the last remnants. 

He helps her stand up, her legs still shaking, and turns her to him, enveloping her in his arms. His lips touch hers again as tongues dance. He pulls away long enough to say "you are everything I imagined baby".



A special thanks to Kat, who culled all these sexy stories together for your reading pleasure. You can find more hot topics at her Blog, Prowling with Kat, (just hit the link). There's five more stories there you may find to your liking if your of a similar mind, and if you've read this far, I'm sure you are.

Missed opportunity

I was off yesterday, so I had the opportunity to sleep a little past 5 for a change. The wife got up first around 5:30 and headed to the shower. By the time she was done in the bathroom, I was finally starting to wake up some. I woke up with some serious morning wood going on. I figured I'd wave my flag and see what it would get me. I was laying on my side, so I stuck a leg out of the covers and pulled them off as I rolled to my back and stood straight in the air.  It took her about twenty seconds before she turned my way. She was a little shocked by the sounds of it. She said "oh my god" as came over to me and said "you better put that away", then walked away and continued getting dressed. Fuck, denied again. 

I knew there was a chance there would be no sex since she just got her period, but come on, I couldn't at least get a fucking blowjob? 

Then later that evening she brought it up again, just saying that it was a damn impressive sight to turn to and she was quite turned on by it. Really? I find that hard to believe since she just turned and walked away from me. 

Not I

She called me a prude. Of all fucking people for that to come from, I never expected it from my wife.

We were out to dinner with about 10 other friends Saturday night and the drinks were making the rounds frequently. My wife who is more of a social drinker had just enough in her to make her a bit boisterous and her volume was creeping up. Someone at the table just had to bring up the 50 Shades of Grey books, and she was on point immediately. She, who liked the books, just started reading The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. I have read it, and the other two books in the trilogy, in the past, maybe about 10 years ago, so I know the subject matter. Not to mention, as you all may know, I'm pretty well read and know a thing or two about BDSM play. What I didn't agree with was a large section of the restaurant knowing about what the book was about. She jumped right in, "50 Shades is nothing, you should read Claiming Beauty", she says. "By the third page, oh my god", she continues.  I didn't say anything to her at dinner, or ask her to quiet down, I was curious how far she was going to take it. It seemed the conversation on the subject died down within a few minutes, after some of the ladies took note of the book title from my wife of course.

Nothing more was said about it until later that night, when on the ride home, my wife brought it up. I told her that I was just curious how far she was going to take it and that I didn't think the subject was fitting for that kind of restaurant. She suddenly got very defensive towards me, and said I didn't trust her. I told her if I didn't trust her, I would have said something when she was speaking up at dinner. That was when she said I was a prude. I sat there in silence, just driving, dumbfounded. We pulled into the garage a few minutes later, still in silence as we went in the house to check on the sitter, our niece. I then had to take her home while my wife went to bed.

Me, a fucking prude, you have no idea the thoughts that swirl in my mind, the constant eddies and currents of sexual visions and energies lying just below the surface. You have barely scratched that surface of what I'm capable of. You have no idea of the erotica I've written over the last few years, of a faithful following of like minded individuals on Blog, or of the sexy Tumblr page I keep. You have never even wanted to see this side of me because it scares you. You are the prude, not I. You are the one that says "that's never going to happen" whenever I bring up something on my sexual bucket list. Whatever your anger or aggravation at me, don't confuse that declaration, when it surely belongs tattooed to you.

A prude I'm not, far, far, from it....

Since I know how low to go
I wont let it show
Won't you touch me touch me, I won't let it go
And now I stand, and I peel for more.
Won't you touch me touch me, I won't let it go

Yes I've finally found a reason
I don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse

Yes I've finally found a reason
I don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse
One to abuse

You're always talking back to me
You won't let it be, won't you touch me touch me
It never bothered you before
Now I stand and I peel for more, wont you touch me touch me, i wont let it go

Yes I've finally found a reason
I Don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse

Yes I've finally found a reason
I Don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse
One to abuse

Ooohh
Yeeahh Yeah
Ooohh
Yeeahh Yeah

Yes I've finally found a reason
I Don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse

Yes I've finally found a reason
I Don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands
You are the one to abuse

Yes I've finally found a reason
I Don't need an excuse
I've got this time on my hands

I've got this time on my hands
I've got this time on my hands
I've got this
You are the one to abuse
I've got this time on my hands
I've got this time on my hands
I've got this
You are the one to abuse
One to abuse
One to abuse

Ooohh
Yeeahh Yeah
Ooohh
Yeeahh Yeah

Sexy Shower

He stood there, the water washing down over him, eyes closed, savoring the heat. He heard the door open, then the curtain slid open enough to emit her. She smiled up at him and reached around him to get at the warmth spilling from above. She turned her back to the water and started wetting her hair, he reached up to help, working it all to the center of her back. She grabbed the shampoo, washed, then the conditioner, while he helped occasionally, running his hands through her hair. When she was done she started to wash her body, he just stood back and watched as the suds ran over her body. Down her shoulders, between her breast, along her torso, continuing down her legs, he stood transfixed. She started rinsing off and proceeded to rub her ass into his cock, she was meet with the effect she wanted. She asked "want to have sex", as if it needed an answer, but he said yes anyway.

The foot height difference between them made things more difficult, but where there's a way...

She turned away from him and stepped up onto the edge of the shower, one foot on each side. Holding on to the upper edge for support, she lowered herself down to his waiting cock. He positioned himself at her waiting entrance, slowly pushing, the water causing some resistance. His hand on her hip, he pulls her down onto him until her wetness takes over and he's buried , his abs touching her ass. He uses those hips, guiding her, helping her, up and down. Slowly at first, but the moans escaping her lips have him wanting more. He reaches around her, his hands enveloping each of her tits, grabbing, using her body for leverage. She knows what he wants and voices it, "fuck me" she says over her shoulder. With reckless abandon he drives into her, the water making splashing noises every time his abs meet her ass. She utters "fuck yea, fuck yea", over and over, driving his frenzy. It's all he needs as he pulls her body against his and unloads into her sweet pussy, holding her there, savoring the last vestiges of pleasure. It's all so visceral, the water, their bodies, his cock sunken deeply.

As always, the feeling he wants to relish fades quickly. She lifts herself up off of him and clambers down with his help. She just turns and smiles up at him and says "I'm all done", slipping out as quietly as she entered.

Well, I have to say that my wife came through last night. No, not in the sex department, (yea, yea, piss and moan some more W) but she did do good by me. She was able to get her hands on Game 5 playoff tickets for the Celtics/Sixers game last night.

I made my way into Boston after work and picked my wife up. We meandered through town and parked at the Garden. It was early enough that we found somewhere to have dinner and few drinks before the game. It was a bit of a wait for a table, but a quick dinner and we headed up the street to the Garden. We made it to our seats just as the anthem was starting. The rest is history. It was a great time and a really good game. The place was fucking rocking, so damn loud in there. (Check this link out for KG's assessment of the fans.) A few more wobblie pops while there always help keep things loose, I love that I can get a Cap n Coke there now too. It was over quicker than expected, and it was a breeze getting out of the parking garage. We made good time getting back home, before I knew it, my head was hitting the pillow and I was in the land of nod. All I can say is that it made for a great night out, I'd love to go back again.

"Since then, at an uncertain hour,
That agony returns;
And till my ghastly tale is told,
This heart within me burns."


                                                 Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Distance is a bitch. You loose some of those necessary senses. There's no touch, taste, or smell.  We can have hearing and seeing with technology today, but you always long for more. I want to wrap my arms around someone and comfort them, share their pain, give them warmth, and I'm hobbled by geography. I want to spend quality time taking pictures on the left coast with a friend, feel the ocean, sun and fun. I want to revel in those senses, savor every minute. I want to explore the European and Australasian continents, let my eyes drink in long forgotten beauty. Or wake up in Paris with the balcony windows thrown wide, the sounds and smells an assault on my flesh. Lay with a sleeping beauty in the Caribbean, night engulfing us in its peaceful, humid embrace, while flesh dances.    

Her: So did you have a nice night hanging with the boys, drinking beer, and playing pool?

I: No, no, no, no, no.
   You know I don't really drink beer. It was Captain's and Coke. Silly girl.

I keep on planning to write, but never seem to get around to it, or simply don't feel I have anything worthy to share. I did have something break from the norm this past week, nothing too special, but interesting none the less.

For some reason I keep getting called for jury duty, but thankfully ever since I started going, I've never been picked, until now. Where I live now means I have to travel about 50 minutes to the new court house down in southern Mass. It was actually a nice surprise because the last time I had to report, it was some old run down, shitty court house with no room to sit or move. Not this one, this one was just finished in 2010 and cost us tax payers about $93 Million. Government at work.

After getting checked in and reading for a bit, the court officer in charge goes over what to expect for the day and then shows one of those movies that helps explain things. Then it was a few Seinfield episodes on the flat screens followed by the movie "Unstoppable", we wouldn't be able to see it all. There were only about 25-30 of us in the waiting room as there were two major cases going on in the supreme courts, we would only be needed for other cases. We all filed in and I was hopeful to dodge another jury as I was number 15 and they only needed 7 jurors. Then the challenges came, and those numbers kept getting closer and closer until I was called and seated, never even challenged, damn. One more young lady was chosen after me and they said thank you to everyone else, we have a full jury. I didn't dodge one this time, oh well, first time for everything.

The saving grace for getting chosen is, at least there was some eye candy. Two of the three women there had my attention more often than not. The woman that would eventually sit to my left got my attention on day one. As we sat in the jurors box, she would stretch her back and push out her perfectly sized chest, held tightly in the white tee, square into my peripheral vision. Needless to say, it was not just my peripheral vision for long. She always seemed to spare me a smile when there was a break in the action, or when we were trying not to laugh at the "dropped cheesecake" that kept reoccurring in the case.

I found more to like the following day when we all had to report back. Seems my new friend dressed a bit better on day number to. She was wearing some kind of grey pants that fit like those yoga pants I seem to like so much, matched with a low cut grey top and her blond hair cascading down her shoulders. Again, everytime we had to exit the court room, I couldn't take my eyes from the way those pants hugged her ass. I got a good enough look at times to see the outline of what I can only imagine is a very cute thong. Back in our sequestered little room, she would sit across from me and try to keep herself busy, as would the rest of us. Thankfully by the second day, we were all pretty comfortable with each other and conversations flowed freely between everyone.

When the last witness was done and closing statements were made, we retired yet again to our little room minus one. The outspoken Portuguese woman was drawn as an alternate, phew, dodged a bullet on that one, she was already feeling bad for the defendant the previous day. It took a little convincing for two other jurors, but we all agreed on her guilt, but at a lesser sum which was all that was proven. We filed back in to read the verdict and were excused. A few minutes after the judge came in to thank us for our time and see if anyone had questions. The one older gentleman who was feeling bad about finding her guilty, but agreeing she was wrong, asked what was going to happen to the defendant now? The judge then spilled that it was her second offense for the exact same crime and she was still on probation for that offense. The older man smiled and said in his best broken Portuguese accent "I no feel so bad no more, she get what she deserve." We could not help but laugh.

We all left together and headed for the parking garage. We all joked and started heading our separate directions. It was the blond and I on the same level. I wish I could write that more happened, but all there was from me was a "it was good meeting you", she said the same, smiled and kept walking.

Yep, I do it a lot.

Helpless

It's been kind of a rough week in W's house. I've felt so damn helpless, not knowing what to do, or how to make it better for M. It started Friday with her getting a cold and being miserable that night and Saturday, running a slight temp. Sunday morning seemed better, but she was still a bit off and we had about 30 people coming over for Easter. About an hour before that time, my wife was getting M ready when she noticed fluid coming out of her right ear, M did say it hurt a bit, but she is a little trooper and does not let pain bother her much it seems. A call to urgent care netted her a "get here as soon as you can". I was left to entertain family coming to our house. Thankfully, everyone is willing to help out, so it was not really a big deal since my wife also had everything pretty set the previous day.  

She got home with M about an hour after everyone had arrived, it turns out that she had ruptured her ear drum, M seemed in good spirits though, just happy to play with her cousins. I proceeded to drink a bit and take the edge off that I was feeling. A few hours later it was over and it took another 3 hours for the two of us to get the house back to normal, some of those kids are savages I tell ya. 

Monday was uneventful, except for me now having the cold. M seemed good, but her ear was still draining way too much. This prompted a call for another appointment Tuesday, the soonest would be that afternoon. After a slight disagreement with my wife about me having to "step up" a bit more helping out (If I'm not at work I loose a day's pay, I don't get flex time, or sick days, and vacation time cannot be broken down to days with my company, yes, it's a suck ass job), I was able to work it out with my boss and leave work early to take M to her appointment. Seems her med's were not strong enough for the ear problem and now she had an infection in the other ear. So new med's were in order. The poor kid is a mess at this point, her balance is shot, she can barely hear, and her nose is all stuffed up. This is where that helplessness comes in, seeing her suffering and not being able to do more, it pains me inside more than I can explain.  

We kept her from daycare yet again Wednesday and she stayed with her grandparents. Towards the end of the day she was complaining of being itchy. Then by the time my wife got there, she was screaming in pain saying her stomach hurt. The call to urgent care took only about 30 seconds when they heard her screaming and told my wife to get her there right away. This trip resulted in M being allergic to her antibiotics and some immediate antihistamine being administered, she will also need it every 6 hours for the next two days. She was so exhausted, the kid was apparently asleep in her car seat within a minute. I was just driving home from work at the time myself feeling so bad for my little one. 

I was up getting ready for work around 5 today, after I showered my wife woke up and sounded like shit. She has M's cold too, but now it was really effecting her. Good thing she was staying home with M today. I did hear from hear a little while ago and M seems to be much better, hopefully on the mend for good. It looks like it could take up to two months for her hearing to become normal after rupturing her eardrum though. I'm feeling a nice stiff drink or two is in the works for my immediate future. 

They were all under my spell, their attention hanging on every spoken word. Their eyes held a sparkle to them as they looked up at me from the rug. Even sitting, I towered over them all. The only sound other than my bass voice was the camera clicking at me from different angles.

I was signed up by my wife, to read a book to my daughters daycare class on my day off this past Friday. I got there at 3:30 as they were coming in from playing outside. My little one was the last through the door and let out a great big "daddy" as she ran over to hug me. Then the tears started. I'm told they get a bit emotional when their not used to seeing you in the middle of the day. All the kids got settled down and my daughter sat next to me on a little chair as I started reading The Three Little Pigs. They all sat with rapt attention for the most part, just my little one trying to clarify every what I was reading to her friends. It was cute to see them all so engrossed in such a simple story (this one was a little more embellished than the original). They were all quite happy though, it was nice to see all their little smiling faces thanking me after I was done. The teacher did take way to many pictures by the sounds of it. All in all, it was not all that bad. Kids tend to like me for some reason, I have no idea why.