Razors Edge

Ever feel like you living on a razors edge?  You walk that edge never knowing what side you may fall on, but you can be damn sure it's going to be the wrong side. 

Seems to be that's how the home life has been going a lot lately.  I just don't understand how,  no matter how much I do, it never seems enough, or its not the way she wanted it.  The sad part is, its all these little things that keep adding up in the back of my head, taking up space, eating up compute cycles, and she wonders why I'm getting migraine's more frequently, ha, tough one.  Don't get me wrong, life goes on, I know many are in worse positions than I.  There is still a bond there, but its just changed so much in the past few years, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

If it wasn't for a few key figures in my life right now, I don't know how I would be able to cope with all of it. First is that little angel of mine, I don't know if I could live without her.  That blond hair, cute smile, and piercing blue eyes that just see her daddy.  Second, Beryl, who has become a true friend, who understands me and still sees the real me, as I am, no pretense.  We can share anything with each other and are always better off for it.  And finally, good friends.  Whether it be the ones I can go out with, share a drink and a few stories, or those of you here, who I can share a story, an email, or a chat with.  Its always nice to have support.  Thank you all for being here.

It helps to remind one to never give in, never surrender, to keep on living.

Fly in the ointment

Over all, a good weekend, except for one glaring hiccup Saturday night.  I had heard from a good friend of mine on Thursday that his, kind of sort of Brother in Law, had just won tickets to see Flyleaf, but had no interest in seeing them.  I was obviously the first person he thought of to get them to.  Unfortunately, after repeated phone calls and trying to get the tickets changed to my name, it fell through.  We never heard back from the kid Friday.  I was working all day Saturday, constantly checking my phone, hoping he would come through at the last minute.  Bust.  Fucker.

At least I was home to take part in a nice group chat Saturday night with a few blog friends.  You ladies are to sweet by far to me.  ;)

Oh, and did I tell you I spoiled Beryl rotten over these past three days, well I did.

My Angel

I find myself quite amazed at the love I have for my daughter.  It seems fitting to write about it now after reading all of your comments on my last post.  Thank you all by the way.

I was always of the mind that I never wanted children.  It took my wife and I ten years before we decided to even try.  I was that unsure. So after a huge mess of fertility treatments, "chemical" pregnancy's, and multiple miscarriages, all spread over two and a half years, we decided to just let it happen if it was going to happen.  Four months later we found out she was 12 weeks pregnant.

Fast forward two years to the present, and I'm simply amazed at my capacity to love this little girl.  Don't get me wrong, she still has the ability to make me want to ring her neck with that attitude of hers (must get it from mom), but the love is still unconditional.  She just makes me melt, from the blond haired, blue eyed looks, to the little sayings or words she has been learning.  I'll just stand in her room at night, staring at her sleeping sometimes, overwhelmed that she is mine.

I never imagined I would love anyone so much as I do that little angel.

Sweetness

I had the cutest moment with my daughter last night and just wanted to share it.

We were sitting on the couch watching TV after I feed her dinner.  The Sprout channel was on which she really likes.  She was sitting in my lap facing the TV, I had my book beside me on the arm of the couch reading while trying not to melt my brain on children's programming.  My right arm was around her, my left holding the book open.  She looks over and says "daddy's book" while pointing at it.  I asked her if she wants me to read it to her and she says "yes".  I read about three or four sentences and she cranes her head back at me, raises her hand to my mouth and says "no more Dada" and proceeds to go back to watching Sprout.

I had the biggest smile on my face for a good hour just thinking about it.

Romantic? Who Me?

If I'm such a romantic guy (so says everyone here) then why is it my wife doesn't see it? How is it I can make someone so damn far away happy (and believe me, I love doing it) and yet the one that lays next to me every night is oblivious? Do we really grow so used to the people we live with that we become so blind to that which is in front of us? I'm beginning to see the answer as an unequivocal yes.

Its funny because Danielle and I were talking about this a few months ago after she read one of my post and she was convinced that my wife had her head up her ass, I always thought it was a stick permanently lodged up there, but I really do believe it must be her head.


Those of you who have been reading for awhile know I tend to be demure myself, so I'll often err on the side of caution, being humble and lacking to much hubris. Take a look back at ancient literature, Greek especially, and you'll find that to much pride, more often than not, is the hero's downfall. I never want to come off as to egotistical or arrogant, there seems to be plenty of that out there on the blog-sphere already. Thats why I will tend to minimize some of my actions, that, in all reality, mean a lot more.

Peedee and Vixen Kitten think I need some sense smacked up side my head I'm sure, judging by their comments. I guess all I'm trying to say is I don't feel like I'm setting out to be romantic, it just happens.

So as Peedee says, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

"Quack"

HNT: Bike Ride

Just out for a bike ride the other day, still training for this 100 miler I have coming up, thought I'd share a bit of the sweat with you.

The Bathroom

She said she had to use the ladies' room.  He stood there for a minute or two, looked around, then proceded into the ladies room.  He opened the door slowly, looking as he went in, there was no one else in there.  He saw her heels below the stall door as he walked towards it.  He said, simply, "Open the door".  She did so since she was already standing and adjusting her clothing, though she was still quite surprised to her his voice.  He moves into the stall with her, embraces her and kisses her deeply.  He breaks the kiss and spins her around, her body against the side wall, him directly behind her.  He moves her cascading hair from the side of her neck as he begins devouring her exposed flesh.  She throws her head back, her arm reaching behind her head to rest on the back of his.  His hands reach up under her shirt, under her bra, pushing it up, cupping her tits.  Her nipples harden at the slightest graze of his hand. He takes one between thumb and finger, pinching ever so slightly.  He snakes his other hand down, over her stomach, under her waist band, down to her smooth pussy.  She lets out a long moan as his middle finger parts her folds, feeling how wet she is, rubbing up and down.  She starts grinding against his hand.  "You like that, don't you baby?" he whispers into her ear.  A weak "yes" escapes her lips.

She reaches behind her, grabbing him through his pants, stroking him to hardness.  "I need this cock in me," she says to him.  He reaches to her waistband with both hands and swiftly pushes them down her legs, sliding down her body, he can't resist kissing that freshly exposed ass.  He rises back up, unbuttoning his own pants, releasing his cock.  He's still behind her, rubbing himself between her legs, letting the wetness cover him.  She slides her ass back at him, arching her back.  He easily slides into her, another moan escaping her lips as he buries himself.  He takes both her hands and moves them above her head againist the wall, holding them there with his own, as he starts fucking her from behind.

Her response is nearly instantaneous, "Oh, fuck, yes" she says.  That's all the encouragement he needs to start driving harder into her.  Her hands still pinned against the wall, his abs slamming against her ass with every thrust, his free hand on her hip holding her where he wants her.  Within a minute, she is shuddering in orgasm, her pussy tightening on his cock.  "Fuck yes, fuck yes, fuck yes," she whispers as she cums hard and fast.  His own lust driving him into her, her whispers send him over the edge, with a final thrust he lifts her off the ground "Oh my fucking god baby," he groans as he unloads into her.

They hastily gather themselves, fixing their clothing and make a dash for the door, as yet, surprised no one has come in.  She pulls the door open, her other hand pulling him along, and is met with another woman reaching for the door.  They all pause, the woman looking from her to him and back, both their faces still flush.  With a wink, she steps aside and lets them exit, a knowing smile crossing her face.