An answer, A.K.A. my two cents...

So the other day I received an incomplete Formspring question from a fellow blogger, fault Formspring's character limit, not the blogger. I did receive an email from her explaining her position some more and she would like my opinion on the matter. Again, I'm far from an expert in such matter, but always happy to be asked for help. Here is what she wrote on Formspring:

I wish I had seen this earlier. I really needed some advice about a hook-up that persistently pursued me then after our hook-up decided he felt "guilty" about cheating on his wife. me being me of course became completely enamored and am now crushed. He in...


And this is her continuation to me:

Basically I wanted advice on how I should handle this issue with this guy or better yet how to move on and put it behind me. We have no contact anymore and quite honestly i became very attached to him and miss him terribly.

The first thing to comes to my mind is, how many times did you "hook up" with him? Ok, never mind that question, she just answered that in an email to me. Apparently it was only once, but it was an incredible once, or so I'm told.  I wondered how you developed such strong feelings for him. It sounds like he was quite the aggressor in the beginning if he was that persistent, so it could also very well be the emotional connection you made with him even before you physically fucked. The thing you must be aware of and ask yourself is, how did this attachment come into being? Is it the emotional connection your craving and missing, or the physical ecstasy you experienced? I would think if you only had the physical once, it would be easier to let go and move on. So, maybe you truly did develop this as emotional affair and hence your unwillingness to let go.

On the other side of the coin is his connection to you. Seems its not nearly as strong as yours is to him. I would hazard a guess and say he was in it just for the sex possibly. Though his borderline stalkerish attitude towards pursuing you makes me think otherwise. I  think maybe he is just feeling guilty about the start of an affair. Was this a first affair for him? If so, its completely possible he lost his nerve, even if the sex was that good.

The bigger issue it seems is your longing for him. What made him so special to you to develop this crush? I know you've had other guys from what I've read, there must be something about him that caused this attachment. Maybe he could have been the perfect lover, but you can't beat yourself up over that now. You have to find a way to let him go if he doesn't want to continue the affair anymore. I'm sure you knew going into the whole AM thing that the possibility for this kind of thing was there. I think I'm just more surprised that you developed an attachment to him so quickly.

The burden is now on you to move on, and move past him. Look at it as a minor set back and one of the hazards of affairs. You said it yourself, your a strong woman and you can move on, you don't need to dwell on something that is not reciprocal and will only drag you down more.

This is all only my opinion, I don't know that I'm much help, but I thank you for asking anyway. If anyone else has suggestions on how to move on, by all means, leave a comment.

Just remember that old adage, "It is sometimes better to love and lost, than to have never loved at all."