Internal Pathways To Contention

"Drift among the faithful, bury your desires, aberration's fill your head, you need a place to hide..."
It's funny how true you can make something feel. I am so into music that I sometimes just pick out these lines and they really do feel to speak to me. This one line says so much about how things have been lately. "Drift among the faithful", it's what I seem to be doing alot lately, just putting on that blank facade to blend in. "Bury your desires", well I guess that is self explanatory with the co-worker issues I've been having. "Aberration's fill your head", how true, there is so much dark matter floating around in my head right now, I am quite afraid to let anything out into the open to anyone. There are so many dark desires in there that need to be under constant control "There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, confusing, consuming. This lack of self control I feel is never ending.. ". Sometimes I really do feel I need someplace to hide. Lately I am happier being by myself.

There is only one thing right now that makes me happy at all, and that is the little time that I get to spend with my little girl, she can't talk yet but she is the only light in my dark world.